Breaking News

My contacts on Capital Hill have told me that one of the representatives from New York has received letters from attorneys on behalf of four of his citizens.

They filed a claim under the Endangered Species Act, which states that "The president's proposed ban on the creation of human-animal hybrids unjustly threatens our species with extinction. As lawfully created homo sapien-terrapene ornata chimera, our clients fear that the prohibition would prevent the creation of female members of their species, dooming the race to cessation."

They expect to file the case of Hamato v. The United States of America shortly. Amicus briefs will likely be filed on the plaintiff's behalf from The Pizza Assoc. of New York and an unnamed human-rodent hybrid.